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2021.04.06
哈佛大学的录取率，已经连续五年持续走低。今年的录取率低至4.5%，43,430名申请人中，只有1,666名“幸运儿”被选中，成为2023届哈佛新生。
在近日《哈佛深红报》发布的哈佛“新生调查报告”中，从学生背景、学术兴趣等多个方面，展示了2023届哈佛新生群像。在这份报告中，你可以大概地了解到哈佛学霸们的高中学习和课外生活情况，以及它更青睐什么样的学生。
但想进哈佛这样的顶尖院校，可不是简单了解各种考试成绩的冰冷数字就行了的，我们需要学习借鉴的，应该是能真正帮助你从完美分数申请者中脱颖而出的、一份能打动招生官的申请文书。
接着，我们就来看看2019年申请文书中，10篇来自不同专业申请者的成功哈佛申请文书以及申请学生的简介。
生源地：美国麻省
高中：公立学校，一届共有306名学生
种族：亚裔
性别：女
GPA：3.95outof4.0
SAT/ACT：n/a
SAT科目考试：n/a
课外活动：
模范联合国主席（ModelUnitedNationspresident）；
“帮助无家可归者”的团体主席（WorkingtoHelptheHomelesspresident）；
贝尔蒙西亚(社区服务俱乐部)秘书（Belmontian(communityserviceclub)secretary）；
演讲和辩论创始人兼主席（SpeechandDebatefounderandpresident）
获奖情况：
国家AP学者（APNationalScholar）；
获崇高的荣誉奖：贝尔蒙特高中图书奖——拉丁图书奖（BelmontHighSchoolBookAward,BelmontLatinBookAward,highhonorroll）
专业：心理学（Psychology）
申请文书
上下滑动查看
"UtItaliamlaetiLatiumquepetamus"（拉丁语）
"Sandra,wouldyoumindreadingthenextfewlinesandtranslatingthemforus"
"Verygood!"Theprofessorbeamedatmebeforeselectinghisnextvictim.
Whentranslatingwenoticethenouns,theadjectives,andtheconjunctionsjustlikeweseethepeople,senses,andconnectionsofourlives.However,weoftendonotknowwhatwearedoingandaskourselvestheage-oldquestion:WhyareweherePerhapsweareheretolearn,toteach,tohelp,toserve,tolead,orjusttolive.Wetravelthroughlifetodecidewhatourpurposeis,anditisthatsuspenseandourunknowndestiniesthatmakethejourneysoirresistiblybeautiful.IfeelthatsamesuspenseandunknownwhenItranslate,becauseIambeautifullystrugglingtounlockapastIknowverylittleof.Itisunbelievablyexhilarating.
Thus,IquestionwhyothersconsiderLatinadeadlanguage.ItisaliveinalloftheWesternworld.TheRomancelanguagesofFrench,Spanish,andItalianallhaveLatinorigins.WithoutLatin,Iwouldnotbeabletowritethisessay!Itisaliveinthestoriesittells.Youmayseeanappleandassociateitwithorchards,juice,pie,andfall.WhenIseeanapple,IthinkoftheappleofdiscordthrownbyEristhatultimatelycausedtheTrojanWar.Thisevent,albeitdestructiveandterrifying,leadstotheflightofAeneasandeventually,hisfoundingofRome.
IstudyLatinforitsrewardingreturn,incredibleprecision,intellectualchallenge,richhistoryandculture,anddeepinfluenceonourworld.IstudyLatintoshowothershowbeautifulitis,toencouragetheworldthatitshouldbevalued.IstudyLatintoleadoursociety,likeAeneasdid,towardanewcity,anewdawnwhereeveryoneappreciatesamentaltrialofwits,everyonemarvelsatavibrantpast,andnoonewonderswhetherLatinisdeadornot.
—END—
点评
生源地：韩国首尔
高中：私立学校，一届共有400名学生
GPA：4.0outof4.0
SAT/ACT：阅读800,数学800,写作720
SAT科目考试：数学2，化学，物理
野生动物生态与保护基因组学实验室(江原国立大学)对大型马蹄蝠的研究（ResearchingreaterhorseshoebatsatWildlifeEcologyandConservationGenomicsLab(KangwonNationalUniversity）
韩国射箭俱乐部创始人兼主席（Koreanarcheryclubfounderandpresident）
梦想与行动志愿者俱乐部副主席（DreamandActVolunteerClubvicepresident）
模拟审判（mocktrial）
JiInYong奖(颁发给年度最佳学生)
全国青少年韩国射箭锦标赛三等奖thirdprizeinNationalYouthKoreanArcheryChampionship
美国国家奖学金半决赛U.S.NationalMeritScholarshipsemifinalist
专业：综合生物学（IntegrativeBiology）
Treefrogs,specificallyJapanesetreefrogsandSuweontreefrogs,usesongsnotjusttoexpresstheiramorousintentionsbuttosurvive.Whilethesetwospeciesmaylookphysicallyidentical,theyaresexuallyincompatible.Soinordertoluretherightfemale,malefrogssingserenadesthataredistinguishablefromotherspecies.Analyzingtheseserenadesatanecologylabwithspectrogramsandwaveforms,Idecodedeverypulseofsoundsemittedbytheseravenoustreefrogsintothepatternsofnumberstolethumansunderstandtheirlyrics.
DescribingherstudyofanimallanguageswaslikelyquitedifficultforSamanthaexpressthroughothercomponentsofherapplication.Heressaybringstolightthisextremelyuniqueacademicinterestwhilealsodepictingtherelationsandinsightshedrawsbetweenanimalandhumanlanguage.
生源地：美国北卡罗来纳州
高中：公立学校，一届共50名学生
种族：拉美裔
GPA：4.98outof5.0
SAT/ACT：35
SAT科目考试：数学2，物理
研究中Research
科学博览会创始指导主任foundingsciencefairmentoringdirector
《学生报》创刊主编foundingEditor-in-Chiefofstudentnewspape
沙滩排球beachvolleybal
利用艺术进行慈善集资fundraisingartist
英特尔国际科学与工程博览会决赛IntelInternationalScienceandEngineeringFairFinalist,
全国拉美裔学者NationalHispanicSchola
杰克·肯特·库克进入半决赛JackKentCookeSemifinalist
韦恩·汉森科学或工程优秀奖WayneHansonExcellenceinScienceorEngineeringAward
专业：数学（Math）
MyfathersaidIdidn’tcrywhenIwasborn.Instead,Ipoppedoutofthewombwithafurrowedbrow,lookingupathimalmostaccusatorially,asiftosay“WhoareyouWhatamIdoinghere”WhileIcan’tspeaktothebiologicalaccuracyofhisstory—HowdidIsurvive,thenHowdidIbringairintomylungs—it’scertainlytruethatIfeellikeIcamepreprogrammedwiththecompulsiontoaskquestions.
Ireceivedmyfirstjournalinpreschool,probablybecausemyparentsweresickofcleaningmycrayondrawingsoffmybedroomwall.Growingup,mynotebooksbecametheplaceswhereIexploredideasthroughactionsinadditiontowords.IfthefaceIwassketchinglookedbroody,Ibegantowonderwhatinherlifemadeherthatway.WassheaspyDidshejustcomeinfromthecoldGraduatingfromcrayonstomarkerstocoloredpencils,Ilayeredcoloruponcolor,testingouttheeffectsofdifferentcombinations,wonderingwhythelayeringofnotesinmusicfilledmewiththeverysamehappinessasthesightoftheexplosionofpairedcolorsbeneathmyhands.
Ibegantotakenotes,onanythingandeverything.ReadingSteveMartin’sBornStandingUp,Itookawaylessonsonpresentations,ofmaintainingarhythmandallowingcrescendosofenergytoreleaseeverysooften.Whilewatchingadocumentaryonpeoplepreparingforasommelierexam,Imadenoteoftheimportanceofanenrichingenvironmentwheremosteverythingpointsyoutoyourgoals.Flippingthroughmyoldjournal,IseethatevenanarticleabouttroubleintheSouthChinaSeainspirednotesonprecedentandmaintainingtraditionlestyouprovoketheunknown.Iwaslookingfortherulesoftheworld.
Nowmy2016notebookreturnstoexploringtheworldthroughactionsandexperiments.Dozensofdoughnut-shapedsketchesdotpagesthatask“howwouldyouplaytic-tac-toeonatorus”Anotherpagecontainingbubblelettersanswersthesimplerquestionoftheresultofsortingthesefiguresintogroupsoftopologicalequivalences.NottwopageslateraretheresultsofaresearchbingeonMersenneprimesthattookmethroughperfectnumbersandsomehowdepositedmeataWikipediapagedetailingthemathematicalpropertiesofthenumber127.Onceagain,Ilookfortherulesoftheworld.
Review
生源地：美国新泽西州
高中：私立走读学校，一届130个学生
性别：男
SAT/ACT：阅读770；写作750；数学800
SAT科目考试：美国史，数学2，化学
足球队（VarsitySoccer）
管弦乐队（Orchestra）
金融机构（Financeorganization）
获奖情况：优等成绩毕业者（CumLaude）
专业：应用数学（AppliedMath）
IstoodfrozenintheproduceaisleatShopRite,wonderingwhichofthefivevarietiesoforangestobuy.Valencia,bloodorange,organic,Floridanavel–whatwerethedifferencesWhenIaskedmymomwhichvarietyshewaslookingfor,sherespondedcurtly,“It’syourchoice.Pickwhatyouwant.”Thethingwas,Ididn’tknowwhatIwanted.
Formyparents,thisleveloffreedom–evenintheorangesectionofthegrocerystore—issomewhatuniquetotheUnitedStates.ThelingeringpoliciesoftheCulturalRevolutionin1970sChinadictatedlifechoicesformyparents;growingupinpoverty,theirfamilies’soleconcernwasputtingfoodonthetable.Asaresultofeconomicdisadvantage,highereducationbecamemyparents’lifegoal.“IfIdidn’tmakeittocollege,”mydadtoldme,“Iwouldhavebeentrappedinthatgodforsakenvillagefortherestofmylife”(onlyone-tenthofhishighschoolevermadeit).Myparentsdidn’thaveachoice:mymom’sentireliferevolvedaroundstudying,andmydadwasspankedintoshapeathome.Sports,music,orentertainmentwereoutofthequestion–myparents’onlyoptionwastoworkhardanddreamofachoiceinAmerica.
Themiraculousthingisthatmyparents,havingnofreedomofchoiceforthebetterpartoftwentyyears,stillhadthevisiontograntmechoiceintheUnitedStates.Unfortunately,thisisnotcommon,eveninourbelovedlandofopportunity.AllIhavetodoistalktomyclosestchildhoodfriends-childrenofotherAsian-Americanimmigrants–toseetheglasswallsthatculturalandfamilialexpectationhaveerectedaroundtheirlives.Forsomeofthem,playingthepianoisanobligation,notahobby,andmedicalschoolistheonlycareeroption.
Oddlyenough,IhadalwaysfeltabitleftoutwhenIwasyounger–whyweren’tmyparentssigningmeupforAmericanMathCompetitionsandmiddleschoolsummerresearchprograms,whenallmyfriendsweredoingthemI’vecometorealize,though,thathavingthechoicetodothethingsI’minterestedinbringsoutanenthusiasmIcanexplorepassionatelyandfully.Mymanyhobbies–playingsoccerwithourneighborinmybackyard,fiddlingaroundwithMendelssohnonmyviolin,oreventalkingtomyfriendaboutourlateststockpicks–allhavecomefromme,andI’mforevergratefultomyparentsforthat.
Thecontrastbetweenmyparents’livesandmineisshocking.IntheUnitedStates,IhavesomanypathsavailabletomethatIsometimescan’tevenchoose.Idon’tevenknowwhatkindoforangestobuy,yetoranges–oranyotherfruit-werepreciousdelicaciestomydadasachild.IcandreamofattendingaschoollikeHarvardandstudyingwhateverIwant,whetheritbemath,economics,orevenphilosophyorbiochemistry–anon-existentchoiceformyparents,whowereassignedmajorsbytheiruniversities.Icanevendreamofbecominganentrepreneur,whichIseeasexplorationandself-destinyinitspurestform.Icanbesurethatwherevermytruepassionstakeme,myparentswillsupportthechoicesthatImake,astheyhaveforseventeenyears.
Mostimportantly,though,IvaluethatHarvard,withitscenturies-longdevotiontoeducatingthefullperson,fostersthesamesenseofchoiceforitsstudentsthatIhavecometosodeeplyappreciateinmyparents.Iamexhilaratedtohavethefreedomtodefinemyownacademicjourneyand,lookingforward,forthisupcomingfour-yearodysseytolaythegroundworkforalifetimeofexploration.Forme,thankfully,it’sallpossible-butonlybecauseofthesacrificeandvisionofmyparents.
Kevinbeginshisessaywithananecdote,atriedandtruemethodofgrabbingreaders’attention.Throughthecolorfulimageryofchoosingorangesinthestore,Kevinbeginstoconstructathemeofself-direction.
提及他父母的过去，显示出Kevin对他们的奋斗的感激，以及他对全球问题的更广泛的认识。这不仅将他的应用程序上下文化，还将他的思维方式上下文化。我们看到Kevin回想起他的童年，他最初因为不像其他孩子而感到不安，但最终与他对自己独特机会的理解和解了。Kevin进一步展示了他对追求自己兴趣的自由的自我意识——这是一个强有力的选择，因为许多大学都渴望求知欲强的学生。
GPA：4.2outof4.0
SAT/ACT：阅读750,数学660,写作790
SAT科目考试：美国史，法语，西班牙语
年鉴主编（yearbookeditorinchief）
学生会代表（studentgovernmentrepresentative）
校船队队长（varsitycrewcaptain）
素食者俱乐部的领袖（VegetarianClubleader）
国家西班牙裔学者奖（NationalHispanicScholarAward）
高中荣誉（highschoolhighhonors）
语言奖（Languageaward）
专业：语言学（Linguistics）
Languageshaveplayedacentralroleinmylife.Ihavestudiedavarietyoflanguages,tovaryingdegrees—butalwaysinthenameofmygreatergoal,whichistounderstandpeople—totrulycomprehendwhatliesbeneaththesurface:HowdoesacultureconceiveofitselfwhatcanwelearnabouthowtheJapanesebasedonformalityofaddressWhatcanbesaidabouttheGermans,whoselanguagerequirestheverbappearattheendofasentenceMaybenotmuch,butwithouttheknowledgeofthelanguage,thepossibilityofrealunderstandingisimpaired.Myinterestinlinguistics—psychologyaswell—derivesfromthisbelief:thereisanunderlyingstructuretoalllanguage,andthroughthestudyandcomprehensionofthisstructure,therecanbeamutualunderstanding.
Beyondtheunderlyingstructure,wordsthemselveshaveadeepandrichhistory,andtheirusageisaformofbeautyinitself.Itwasmyfatherwhoopenedmyeyetothistruth—whotaughtmetolovewordsfortheirstoriesandtoappreciateetymology.Itbeganasafriendlycontestbetweenus,butforme,appreciationsoonbecamefull-fledgedadorationthatwasonlyencouragedbymystudyofLatin.IbegandrawingconnectionsIhadpreviouslymissedbetweenwordsIuseeveryday,andIfoundmyselfspendinghoursinfrontofthecomputerlookingforsitestoaidmeinmydiscoveries.Oneofmyfavoritediscoveries(andanaptonetosharewithyou)isthewordhedera.
IhappeneduponhederawhenInoticedthesimilarityamongthewordsapprehend,aprender,andapprendre,inSpanishandFrench,respectively.Itwasclear,judgingbytheorthographyanddefinitions,thatthesewordssharedaLatinroot,butinmystudies,neverhadIcomeacrosssuchaword.NextthingIknew,Ihadthefollowingonmyhands:apprentice,comprehend,prehensile,apprehensive.WhatrelationshipexistsbetweenonewhoislearningatradeandasenseofforebodingTheanswerlaywithintheetymologies,whichledtohedera,theLatinwordforivy.Oncesuffixeshadbeenstrippedaway,theremainingwordwasalways-hendere.Alone,thewordmeansvirtuallynothing;itwascontrivedfromhederaasaverbformtoconveyasenseofgrasping.Whatbettertodosothanivy,aplantknownforitstenacityIcouldnothelpbutadmiretheivywhichhadembeddeditselfintothefoundationsoflanguage.
Languageisallaboutmeaningandunderstanding,buttograspthetruemeaningoflanguage,onemustlookbeyondthesurfaceofthesentencetothestructure,andevenbeyondthattothemeaningandhistoriesofthewordsthemselves.Language,therefore,ismypassionbecauseitisthestudyofunderstanding.
ThestrengthofValerie’sessaylies,unsurprisingly,inheradeptuseoflanguagetostringtogethersentencesaswellwrittenastheyarecommunicative.Valerie’swritingisuncharacteristicallyadvancedforherage:Itisfreeoftheattemptsatpoeticflourishthatoftenappearinpersonalstatementsandmanagestoshowcaseherextensivevocabularywithoutusingten-dollarwords.AsValerie’sputsforward,wordsandlanguagearethetoolsshecommandsbest;heressayisproofofthis.
06
Julia：从童年到成年的转变
生源地：美国佐治亚州
高中：公立学校，一届共有597名学生
SAT/ACT：阅读800,数学800,写作800
SAT科目考试：美国史，英语文学
学术碗联合队长（VarsityAcademicBowlco-captain）
校曲棍球（varsitylacrossefouryearletterman）
国际象棋俱乐部主席（ChessClubpresident）
2014年乔治亚州杰出年轻女性（DistinguishedYoungWomenofGeorgia2014）
考维塔县杰出的年轻女性（DistinguishedYoungWomenofCowetaCounty）
中央弦乐管弦乐队第一小提琴手（CentreStringsOrchestra,firstviolin）
美国总统奖学金半决赛选手（U.S.PresidentialScholarssemifinalist）
国家优秀奖学金获得者（NationalMeritScholar）
国家AP奖学金获得者（NationalAPScholar）
乔治亚州优秀公民，乔治亚州地区3B星学生（OutstandingGeorgiaCitizen,GeorgiaRegion3BSTARStudent）
专业：哲学和政府（PhilosophyandGovernment）
Tomysurprise,Iwasinstantlyhooked.
Andtheprosewaselegant,sharp,mesmerizing.ItradiatedsophisticationandIQ.AsIscannedthecredentialsoftheauthors,myonlythoughtwas,wow.Thearticleswerewrittenbyworldly,ambitiouspeoplewhowereexpertsintheirfields,peoplewithPhDsandMBASfromworld-classinstitutions,peoplewhocouldwritebrilliantly,whogotpaidtogivetheiropinions,whowalkedwithapurposeandraninthedirectionoftheirdreams.PeopleIknew—thenandthere—I’dliketoonedaybecome.
Thisiswhateducationlookslike,Itoldmyself.Iwasyoung,Iwasimpressionable.Likeachildstandingontheoutsideofacandystore,nosepressedagainsttheglass,Ihungeredtobeapartofthatcerebraladultworld.SoIreadthatmagazinefromcovertocover.Twice.AndwitheachturnofthepageIfeltmysmall-townnavetébreakintosmallerandsmallerpieces.Irememberthatdayasanincrediblyhumblingexperience.Ihadanawkward,self-consciousepiphany:thatIactuallyknewnexttonothingabouttheworld.ThereIwas,creamofthecropofmymiddleschool,fourteenyearsof"smart"outwittedbyathinvolumeofpaper.Iwasusedtofeelinggifted,togettinggoldstickersandgoodgrades,toacingeveryelementaryexaminationplacedinfrontofmycocky#2pencil.
Althoughreadinganewsmagazineseemedlikeanoneventatthetime,inretrospectitwasoneofthedefiningmomentsofmyadolescence.Thatseeminglyunextraordinarydaysetalotofsubsequentdaysinmotion-dayswhenIwouldpushmylimitations,jumpalittlehigher,ventureoutofmycomfortzoneandintounfamiliarterritory,dayswhenIwouldfailoverandoveragainonlytosucceedwhenIleastexpectedit,dayswhenIwouldbuildmydreamsfromscratch,watchthemfalldown,thenbuildthembackupagain,andbeforeIknewit,thedaysbledintoyears,andthiswasmylife.
Julia’sstrongestskillhereisherpowerfullanguageandpoeticuseofmetaphors.OneofthehighlightsoftheessayisherdescriptionofhowreadingNewsweekhumbledher,remarkingthatshewasusedtofeeling"gifted"butnowfeltlikeshehadbeenlivingintheDarkAges.Heranswerofthepromptisspot-on,expressingpreciselyhowtheexperiencemarkedatransitionfromchildhoodtoadulthood.
JuliacouldhaveelaboratedonwhybeinginterestedinNewsweekwassuchasurpriseforher.Shealsocouldhavechosenamorereflectiveandthoughtfulconclusiontoendanotherwiseverystrongpieceofwriting.Thereisdefinitelyanironybetweenwhatwasatthetimean"out-of-printmagazine"andher"naturalintellectualcuriosity"thatcouldhavebeenteasedoutfurther.
家乡：费城，宾夕法尼亚州
高中：私立贵格会学校，一届共有84名学生
种族：混血儿
GPA：N/A
SAT/ACT：N/A
SAT科目考试：美国史，世界史
越野（Crosscountry）/indoortrack/田径队长（outdoortrackcaptain）
报社总编辑（newspapereditorinchief）
文学杂志编辑（literarymagazineeditor）
MondaySeries—讲系列和出版物创始人和编辑
学生宗教生活委员会主席（StudentReligiousLifeCommitteechair）
学生会主席（StudentCouncil）
奥巴马2012年竞选活动组织者
2012年奥巴马竞选全国优秀社区组织者（AwardastopcommunityorganizerincountryfortheObama2012campaign）
连续四年，荣获州越野冠军（Statechampioninthecrosscountry）
专业：历史和文学（HistoryandLiterature）
Eldreddroppedhisbroom,Ms.Sheilaleftthecupsscatteredonthefloor,andalltheotherscamerunningoverandfusilladedmewithquestions.Yes,thecampaignhadchosenmefromalltheothersummerorganizers.Yes,Iwouldbringphotosforeveryone.Andyes,wehadthestrongestteambythenumbers—totalcalls,knocks,votersregistered,andevents—inthecountry.
"Thebastardinyourpocket"isametaphorforthesumofoureffortstosucceedasrunners."Thebastard"existsasasortofPlatonicidealformofthehighschoolcross-countryrunner,meldedfromaccruedmileageandmentalconditioning.Mygoalinaraceistotakethisidealformandtotransformitintoarealitythatlivesonthecourse.
Iwantaneducationthatfillsmypockets.And,perhapsmoreimportantly,aneducationthatpromptshardasks,thatdemandsustouse"thebastard"andthatusesthecompoundedexperiencesofagroupforasinglepurpose.
Throughthetwoexamplesofhisvolunteerworkandcross-countryexperience,Christopherisabletodepictanuancedandsophisticatedunderstandingofleadershipandaprofounddedicationtoteamwork.
Intheopeningparagraphs,hedescribesthemomentinwhichherelatednewsofaninvitationtomeetthepresidenttohisvolunteerteam.ThemomentisshownastheculminationofChristopher’seffortsasasummerorganizerfortheObamacampaign.Thementionoftheinvitationservesasavalidationofdemonstrableandimpressiveleadership;further,thereferencetomembersofhisteambynamedisplaysthathisworkwasmeaningfulandpersonal.
Throughouttheessay,Christopherrevealshispassionforformingandbeingapartofacommunityasbothagoalinitselfandasawaytoachievesuccessfortheteam.Thisisapointheelaboratesuponinhisreferenceto"thebastardinyourpocket,"whichhepresentsasanidealthatcanbetransformedintoactioninordertoachieveexamplesofhisvolunteerworkandcross-countrysuccess.Anallusiontothewordsofhiscross-countrycoach,heusesthisexampletoexpanduponhisviewstowardcommunityandlivedexperience.Hetalksaboutbothactionandintention,emphasizinghisownsuccessintransformingbeliefsandideasintotangibleresults.ThelastparagraphinChristopher’sessayservesasasuccinctbutpowerfulconclusion,onethatlinksthekindofeducationalexperienceheseekswithhisdetermined,goal-actualizingmentality.
生源地：美国纽约
高中：公立学校，一届共有350名学生
种族：白人/亚裔混血
GPA：4.3outof4.0
SAT/ACT：36
SAT科目考试：数学2；化学；物理；历史；生物
大学足球队（VarsitySoccer）
帆船比赛（CompetitiveSailing）
中音萨克斯演奏家（AltoSaxophonist）
辅导俱乐部的财务长（TreasurerofTutoringClub）
国家优秀奖学金（NationalMeritScholarship）
专业：应用数学（AppliedMathematics）
Asthefirsttextscamein—“WhereareyouThegame’sover.”—Igrinned,myfeetproppedupagainstthetrunkandmybackrelaxedalongtheinclineofthethickestarmofthetree.Iswungoffthebranchandclambereddown.Thesatisfactiononmyfacealittletooapparent,Iwalkedbacktomyfriends,whosatoutofsightonaswingset.Thecompetitionofthenightwasmanhunt,acombinationofhide-and-seekandtagrenamedtosuitthe“dignity”ofkidsourage.
AsIapproachedtheswings,Marccalledout,“Youwon.Where’dyouhide”“Thattreeoverthere,”Ireplied.“Youclimbedatree”Jacklaughed,thesurpriseclearonhisface.Asmanhuntnovices,wehadpreviouslyconfinedourgameplaytotheground.Theywereintrigued,recognizingIhadtakenoursporttonewheights,literally.
Asabsurdasperchingonatreemaybe,there’sanundeniablethrilltodiscoveringanewhidingspotandchangingthegame.Inthatway,manhuntsimultaneouslyfuelsmydesiretoinnovateandmyloveofcompetition—passionsItransferfrommymusical,academic,andathleticpursuitstotheboundariesofJack’sbackyard.
Theclassroombringsnewperspectivesaswell.Eachday’slessonengagesmycuriosityasIconsidertheworldfromadifferentphysical,historical,orpoliticalpointofview.It’stheexcitementinmyPhysicsteacher’svoiceashetellsusthatlightningstrikesfromthegroundupandthatZeusisalie,orthetightlyboundsilenceintheroomasaclassmatereadsaloudaletterhomefromanAmericansoldierinVietnam,thatcapturesmyinterest.
Mycompetitivedrive,meanwhile,kicksinwheneverIhearacountdown,whetherit’sthemeasurebeforeajazzsoloorthesecondsbeforeasailingrace.WhenI’moutonthewater,theurgentbeepofmywatchprecedingthestartrefocusesmyattentiontothewindandwavesbeforeme.Ienvisiontheraceahead,visualizingthechangesinwindpatternsandthemovementofthefleetofboats.WhenthepoundingofmyheartdrownsoutmythoughtsandIfallintotherhythmofmaneuveringtheboat,that’swhenIknowI’matmycompetitivepeak.
Similarly,mydrivecomestolifeduringsoccergames,whenadesiretowinembodiedinaslidetackleisallthatdefendsournet.Thoughthesteelylooksinmyopponents’eyesandthechantsfromthestandsthreatentodistractme,myambitionandprideinrepresentingmyhighschoolhardenmynervesonthegamefieldandfuelmyresolveinpractice.
AsmuchasIlovetocompeteandinnovate,thethrillofachievementismatchedbythecamaraderieamongthefriends,bandmates,andteammateswithwhomIsharethejourney.Thedeterminationtopushmylimitsandreachforthenextbranchisattherootofmyathleticambitionsandmusicalinterests,butthepersonalrelationshipsandsharedexperiencesalongthewaymaketheprocessallthemorerewarding.Eveninacasualgameofhide-and-seekandtag,Icompete,innovate,anddeveloplastingbondsandmemoriesthatmakeagood-naturedcompetitionmorethanazero-sumgame.That’swhatdeliverstherealjoyofmanhunt.
Openinginthemiddleoftheactionwithincomingtextsandtheimagery"myfeetproppedupagainstthetrunkandmybackrelaxedalongtheinclineofthethickestarmofthetree,"Reginaldimmediatelygroundsthereaderinhissurroundings.Thewritinghasaclearvoice,lightheartedyetconfident,exemplifiedthroughitseasyrhythm.
Tobalanceouthisemphasisoncompetition,Reginaldcloseswithappreciationforallofhisfriendsandteammates.Weseethathispursuitofcompetitionstemsfromadesireforconstantself-improvement.Returningtotheimageryofhide-and-seek,Reginaldlandshisfull-circletheme.
生源地：美国伊利诺斯州
高中：公立学校，一届共有650名学生
GPA：5.67outof5.0
SAT/ACT：33
SAT科目考试：N/A
西班牙国家荣誉协会主席（SpanishNationalHonorSocietypresident）,
IMEA区域音乐会乐队中音第一主席（concertbandfirstchairaltoandDistrictIMEA）
爵士乐队中音主唱（jazzbandleadalto）
军乐队大鼓专业（marchingbanddrummajor）
数学俱乐部（mathclubStatefreshman,sophomore,andsenioryear）
州代表的实习生（internforStateRepresentative）
获奖情况：国家AP学者（NationalAPScholar）
Aidenshowshisinsightfulnessandmaturitybothbyacknowledgingthestrifehisancestorswentthrough,butalsobytakinghisacknowledgmentandgreatrespectforthemandapplyingthemtohisownlife.Hiswritingiswise,powerful,andgreatlymoving,andthedepthofhiswisdomandmaturityclearlyimpressedthosewhoreadit.
Aiden通过承认他的祖先所经历的冲突，也通过接受他对他们的承认和极大的尊重，并将其运用到自己的生活中，展现了他的洞察力和成熟。他的作品充满智慧、力量，非常感人，他的智慧和成熟给读者留下了深刻的印象。
生源地：美国加州
高中：公立高中，一届有400名学生
GPA：4.8outof4.0
SAT/ACT：阅读740,数学800,写作800
SAT科目考试：数学2,美国历史
非营利组织的区域主任（NonprofitRegionalDirector）
参与美国参议院页面程序项目（U.S.SenatePageProgram）
会议创始人兼董事（ConferenceFounderandDirector）
当地青年委员会主席（ChairoflocalJuniorCommission）
数学课程教练（MathProgramCoach）
赫斯特基金会奖学金获得者（HearstFoundationScholarshipRecipient）
可口可乐学者计划（Coca-ColaScholarsProgram）
专业：政治学/经济学（PoliticalScience/Economics）
If,asM.F.KFishersaid,“Firstweeat,thenwedoeverythingelse,”thenbakingisanavenuethroughwhichIhaveconnectedwithpeople,causesandevenintellectualpursuits.Butthegreatestgiftthatbakingoffersmeistheresponsibilitytoshare.Withthis,Ihaverealizedaninnatepriority:toturnmytalents,whetherinthekitchenoranadvocacymeeting,intotoolstoimprovethewelfareofothers.Mygoalistoemploymycompassion,intellect,andcreativityintoacareerinpublicservice.AsmuchasIsometimesfeellikeagrandma,Ialsoknowalotofgrandmotherswhohappentorunourpoliticalsystem.
Lauraopenswithauniqueopeningline,suretocatchtheeyeofanadmissionsofficer.Sheproceedstodrawuponcompellingandspecificimagery,whichgroundsthereaderinherlifewhileaddingauthenticityanddepthtoherinterestinbaking.Referringtoherfirstsuccessfulbatchofcookiesasamomentofprideinherchildhood,Laurasetsherselfapartfrompeerswhomayhavechosentofocusonotherinterests.
Throughcitingbakingasawaytoconnectwithothers,Laurashowsthatsheseesherselfaspartofagreatercommunity—somethingwhichadmissionsofficersappreciateseeing.Further,Laurasetsthestageforanexplorationofbakingasaformofmeditation,showcasingherthoughtfulnature,asshewritesthat“creatingtheexactliaisonbetweeneggsandflour...isaformofmeditation.”
Lauracloseswithaquote,atacticwhichcouldreadasartificialwithaclichechoice.However,herquotespeakstothespecificintersectionoffoodandagreaterpurpose,elevatingthethemesofheressay.Sheconcludesbyconnectingherpassionforbakingwiththegreaterworld,underscoringhowherpassionforbakingunifieshermindset,compassionforothers,andgoalsforthefuture.
总之，文书的内容不能为了讲故事而讲故事，千篇一律的东西是无法引起别人注意的。要学会将看似简单平凡的事跟自己的一些精神层面和看法上联系起来，从而引出一个更大的话题，要将内容贯穿起来，突出自己的主题跟思想。
还要注意的是，绝大部分的美国大学会通过对照学生的标准化考试成绩（如果托福写作、SAT/ACT的写作、AP文科类的成绩），来看看申请文书是否符合学生的英语水平。显然，如果你标化写作考试和文书的英语水平不相当的话，会让招生官存疑。所以，大家在标化考试里不要掉以轻心啦。