OnStudents’InterpersonalRelationship
Positiveinterpersonalrelationshipsarevitalforoptimalhumangrowthanddevelopment.However,inrecentyears,educatorshaveexpressedtheirconcernabouttheabilityofinterpersonalrelationshipamongstudentsininstitutionsofhighereducation.AccordingtoasurveyconductedbyHebeiUniversity,manycollege-agestudentsregardinterpersonalrelationshipasthebiggestheadache.
Increasingdiversityandrapidchangesinoursocietymakeinteractingwithothersmoreandmorecomplexanddifficult.Withlimitedlifeexperiencesandsocialskills,collegestudentsfacemorechallengesindealingwithinterpersonalrelationship.Thisisespeciallytrueforstudentscomingfromruralareas.Becauseofthelackofsocialskills,theyareoftenrejectedbyothers—andrejectiongivesthemevenfewerchancestolearnhowtointeractwithothers.
Inmyopinion,nowthatinterpersonalrelationshipisimportanttostudents’development,collegesshouldoffercoursesaboutcomprehensiveinterpersonalrelationships.Thecourseshouldaddresstheknowledge,skills,attitudesandbehaviorsinvolvedinparticipatinginpositiverelationshipsinthefamilyandwithindividualsatschool,inthecommunityandintheworkplace.
Thepictureistalkingaboutastoryaboutneighborhood.Twoladieslivingintheoppositeapartmentssay“hello”whentheyhappentomeeteachotherinthecorridor.Oneofthemsays,“Imovedhere5yearsago,butInevermetyoubefore.CouldIaskyournameplease”Theothersays,”Ihavebeenherefor6years.HowshouldIcallyou”
Itseemsveryridiculousthatpeoplelivingsoneardon’tknoweachotherforsuchalongtime.However,thiskindofstoryisperformedeverywhere.Itistheexactreflectionofinterpersonalrelationshipsinthemodernworld.Inthemodernworld,mostpeopleliveinapartments.Theyclosetheirdoorsandnevergooutassoonastheygethomefromwork.Iftheylivealone,theywillkilltheirtimebywatchingTVorreadingmagazines.Theydon’thaveanyconnectionsevenwiththeirclosestneighbors,whoseemnodifferentfrompeopletheymeeteverydayinthestreet.Theybecomemoreandmoreindifferent.
Thisphenomenonisnogoodtous,nortooursociety.Peoplewillfeellonelymoreandmore.Theworldbecomessoindifferent.Interpersonalrelationshipsarenotharmonious.It’stimethatwetooksomemeasurestoimproveit.Peoplelivinginthesamezonecanbeorganizedtohavesomeactivitiestogether.Weshouldcallonpeopletobefriendlytoeachother.Asapopularsongsays,”Ifeverybodygivesalittlelovetoeachother,theworldwillbecometheseaoflove.”
Communicationbetweenpeopleisofutmostimportance.Theimportancecannotbestressedtoomuch.
ItissaidintheBiblethatonceuponatime,humanscommunicatedwitheachotherinonelanguage.SotheyattemptedtobuildtheBabelTowertocommunicatewithGod,onlytofindsuchdreamwasacastleintheair.Intheaftermath,humansweretrappedintotroublesduetothemisunderstandingsbetweenthem.ThejealousGodplungedusintosuchbitterness.Evennow,peoplewithdifferentracesandreligionsaredraggedintoendlesswars.Peoplearecryinganddying!Suchconsequencesarerooteddeeplyinthelackofcommunication.Therefore,lackofcommunicationwillleadtoperishofhumanbeings.
Onthecontrary,mutualunderstandingcanbewell-establishedbetweenpeopleifwecommunicatewitheachother.Thatis,therapportbetweentwocountrieswillbestrengthenedandthemisunderstandingwillbereducedifthereisadialoguechannel.Likewise,friendscanbecomecloseriftheyarguewitheachother.Noonelikestobutitisnecessarytobehealthy.Argumentsbetweenpeopleareawayofcommunication,bywhichwecanfindasolutiontotheconflictionsbetweenus.Consequently,wepromotethemutualunderstanding.
Toconclude,throughcommunication,mutualunderstandingcanbepromotedandfosteredbetweenpeoplewithdifferenceraces,religions,sexandideologies.Onewayistoargue(nottotallymeansquarrels)duringthecommunicationtoclarifythedifferentviews.Lackofcommunicationwillsurelyleadtoperishofmankind.
Forcollegestudents,thestageofgoingtocollegeisliketheturningpointoftheirlives.Iftheystudywellandhaveclearaimabouttheirfuture,thentheycangetsuccessfulmuchmoreeasier.Buttheinterpersonalrelationshipcan’tbeignore,itisalsotheveryimportantlessonforstudentstolearn.
Whenstudentscometocollege,learningtheknowledgeisnottheironlypurpose,theyalsoneedtolearnhowtogetalongwithothers.Wearenottheonlypersonintheworld,itisnecessaryforustomakeconnectionwithothers.Itisveryimportantskilltomakealiving.
Inthecollege,interpersonalrelationshipcanbetrackedinthesmallissues,suchashowtogetalongwithyourroommates.Moststudentsneverstayawayfromtheirparents,sotheydon’tknowtherulestolivewithsomanypersons.Itisimportanttobetolerantandnicetoothers,weneedtoconsiderthingsfromthecommoninterest.Ifwecanhandlethiswell,thenwehavethegoodsocialskill.
Sohavingthesocialskillistheindispensablelessonforus.
Goodmannersareveryimportantinthecommunicationofdailylife.Everyonelikesapersonwithgoodmanners.Butwhataregoodmanners
Howdoesoneknowwhatshoulddoandwhatshouldnotdowhentryingtobeagood-manneredperson
Well,herearesomecommonexamples.Apersonwithgoodmannersneverlaughsatapeopleintrouble.Instead,he(she)alwaystriestoconsultorofferhelptotheperson.
Heusesahandkerchiefwhenhesneezesorcoughs.
Hedoesnotspiteinpublicplaces.Ideasofwhataregoodmannersarenotalwaysthesameindifferentregions.Forexample,peopleinWesterncountriesusuallykisseachothertoshowtheirgreetings,whereasinChina,kissinginpublicissomethingofunusualandsometimesberegardedasimpolitetosomebodyelse.
Soitisimportanttoknowwhatisregardedaspoliteandimpolitebeforeyougotoaregion.
Butrememberthatitisalwaysrighttobekindandhelpfultoothers.
Thepictureistalkingaboutastoryaboutneighborhood.Twoladieslivingintheoppositeapartmentssay“hello”whentheyhappentomeeteachotherinthecorridor.Oneofthemsays“Imovedhere5yearsagobutInevermetyoubefore.CouldIaskyournameplease”Theothersays”Ihavebeenherefor6years.HowshouldIcallyou”
Itseemsveryridiculousthatpeoplelivingsoneardon’tknoweachotherforsuchalongtime.Howeverthiskindofstoryisperformedeverywhere.Itistheexactreflectionofinterpersonalrelationshipsinthemodernworld.Inthemodernworldmostpeopleliveinapartments.Theyclosetheirdoorsandnevergooutassoonastheygethomefromwork.IftheylivealonetheywillkilltheirtimebywatchingTVorreadingmagazines.Theydon’thaveanyconnectionsevenwiththeirclosestneighborswhoseemnodifferentfrompeopletheymeeteverydayinthestreet.Theybecomemoreandmoreindifferent.
Thisphenomenonisnogoodtousnortooursociety.Peoplewillfeellonelymoreandmore.Theworldbecomessoindifferent.Interpersonalrelationshipsarenotharmonious.It’stimethatwetooksomemeasurestoimproveit.Peoplelivinginthesamezonecanbeorganizedtohavesomeactivitiestogether.Weshouldcallonpeopletobefriendlytoeachother.Asapopularsongsays”Ifeverybodygivesalittlelovetoeachothertheworldwillbecometheseaoflove.”
Isitatthesametablehasalittleface,smalleyes,lookalittlescary,whiteteeth,butIwillseeaarrayed,forastrongerplayertohelpher.WhoHaveWangShuXian,ChenQiuMing,ChenShenJun.
Sheisveryfierce.Once,shehelperChenShenJunandIhadacontradiction,sheimmediatelycallherhelp,andIhappenedwitha"war",seemewouldnotsustainthe,yi!TheyhowtorunthereItisQinYeQi"attack"them.BecauseQinYeQiismyhelper,and,behold,Iwas"attack",immediatelyto"save",anddrawspeople,"play"havetheydraggedin,bedefeatedandflee.Theresultsofclassandshekickedmetwofeet.
Everyrelationshipisasacreddance.Therearemomentswhenpartnersaresoalignedthattheymoveasone.Atothertimes,theystruggleoverwhoisleadingandsteponeachother’stoes.Peaceandsuccessinliferequireustobemastersofrelationships.
Severalessentialprinciplessupporthealthyrelationships.Integratethesebasictenetsintoyourviewofyourselfandthepeopleinyourlife,andyouwillexperiencearenewedsenseoffreedomandoptimisminyourrelationships.
1.Weareresponsibleforourownemotionallife.
Ifwearetoexperiencecomfortable,nourishingrelationships,wehavetorelinquishtheideathatsomeoneelsecanmakeusfeelacertainway.Ifweholdanotherpersonresponsiblewhenweareupset,wesurrenderourpower,whichmakesuslesscapableofcreatingtheoutcomeweseek.Ifthereissomethingthatislackinginoneofyourcorerelationships,castofftheroleofvictimandcommittocreatingtheloveyoudeserve.
2.Healthyrelationshipsarebaseduponadeeprootedconvictioninequality.
Ego-rootedrelationshipsreinforceinsecurities.Whenonepersoncriticizes,demeans,orassertsauthorityoveranother,itmaytemporarilyimprovetheself-esteemofonebyloweringanother’s,butthisassumptionofpowerisalwaysvulnerable.Relationshipsbaseduponmutualrespectliberateenergythatbecomesavailableforcreativity.
Thisprincipleisofparticularimportancewhentherelationshipisbetweenanadultandachild.Itisessentialfortheparenttorecognizethechild’sequalityonthelevelofthesoul.Ifthisintentionispresentthroughoutchildren’supbringing,theywilldevelopasenseofdignityandrespectthatwillservethemthroughouttheirlives.
3.Consciouscommunicationbuildsnurturingrelationships.
Determinewhatyouneedandaskforit.Teachthepeopleinyourfamilytoidentifytheirneedsandexpressthemselvesinwaysthatincreasethelikelihoodthattheirneedswillbemet.
Showyourchildrenhowtogetneedsmetwithoutresortingtoemotionalescalation.Yourbehaviorprovidesthemostcompellinglesson.
4.Givewhatyouseek.
Humanbeingshavefourbasicneedsinarelationship:attention,affection,appreciation,andacceptance.Wegiveattentionbymakingeyecontact.Weexpressaffectionbyconnectingphysicallywithsensitivityandpermission.Wedemonstrateappreciationbytellingandshowingpeoplethattheyaddvaluetoourlives.Weprovideacceptancebycultivatinganinternalconversationofrecognizingourselvesintheotherandtheotherinourselves.
Begenerouswiththepeopleinyourlifeandyouwillspontaneouslyseetheseexpressionsreturningtoyouinkind.Ifyouhavechildren,showerthemwithattention,affection,appreciation,andacceptanceandwatchthemflourish.
5.Rememberthatlifeisshort.
Enjoywhatyouhave.Don’twastetimeindulginginpettygrievances.Wesometimesavoidhealingourrelationships,becauseweanticipatetherewillbeplentyoftimeinthefuture.Dowhatyoucanfromyoursidetocreatepeacenow.Freeyourheartfromgrievancesandregretsnow.Donotallowyourpresenttobetrappedinthepast.
IthasbothadvantagesanddisadvantagestointeractthroughtheInternet.Wecangettotheprobleminourworkandstudy.Lastbutnotlest,wehavetotalkwithpeopleanddevelopourabilitytocommunicateinreality.
Communicationisjustasbasicasfoodanddrink.
Whilesomepeoplesailaheadusingtheirimpeccablecommunicationskills,othersstruggletobeunderstood.Here’showyoucanimproveyourcommunicationskills
1.UnderstandtheNuancesofCommunication
Communicationhaslongtranscendedverbalexchangestobecomeaneffectivewayofconnectingwithpeople.Communicationleavesamplescopeformisinterpretation,leavinggreaterchunksoftheintendedmeaninglostintranslation.Understandingsuchsubtlenuancesbringsaboutgreaterawarenessinself-improvement.
2.Saywhat’sOnYourMind
Whenitcomestoconveyingthedesiredmessage,mostpeopleshyawayfromspeakingtheirmindmostlybecausetheyareboggeddownbysocialexpectations.Theykeeppersonalopinionswithdrawnfromtheensuingconversation.Theprimepurposeofbeingabletocommunicateeffectivelyistobeabletoexpressyourpersonalopinionsinthegivenmatter
3.RetainEyeContact
Everyconversationalistbelievesthattheperfectwaytoengageaudiencesistomaintaineyecontactwiththem.Lookingatpeopleintheeyetendstodrawtheirwaveringattentionstotheconversationathand.Ifyouwanttoimproveyourcommunicationskillsremembertoengageyouraudiencesbydirectlylookingatthem.Eyecontacttiesthespeakertothemasseswithaninvisibletetherandforcesthemtopayattention.Withouteyecontactverbalcommunicationisrenderedcompletelyfutile
4.MindYourBodyLanguage
Thebodydoesnotneedaverballanguagetoexpressitself.Itcancommunicateviamannerisms,expressionsandphysicalconduct.Whenitcomestoeffectivecommunicationskills,excellentverbalcontentiscoupledwithsoundphysicalexpressiontorenderanengagingeffectontheaudiences.Animatedgestures,livelyexpressionsandphysicalmannerismsareexcellentwaysofconveyingagivenidea.Adeadpanexpressiononlyconveysalacklustreattitudeandboredom,whereasananimatedfrontismoreengagingtowitness.Ifyouwanttoimproveyourcommunicationskills,youshouldstartobservingotherswhiletheyspeak.Talktoyourselfandcheckyourbodylanguageinthemirrortoascertainyourflawsandimproveuponthem.
5.BeAGoodListener
Communicationishardlyaone-wayprocess.Listeningisasimportantasspeaking.Infact,mostcommunicationexpertsbelievethatanidealcommunicatortendstolistenmorethanspeak.Whileitishearteningtobeabletoalleviateinterpersonaltroublesbytalkingitout,sometimeslisteningalonedoesthetrick.Notonlydoesitmakethecommunicatingexperiencericherbutalsomakesyoumoresympathetic(有同情心的)totheotherperson
6.ClearEnunciation
Somepeopletendtodrawtheirsyllabl，outmakingtheirspeechcompleteincomprehensibletothelistener.Whiletheideaofcommunicationisextremelyimportant,oneshouldn’ttreatthemediumofcommunicationlightlyCrispenunciationaddstoeffectivedelivery。Notonlydotheserequireathoroughunderstandingofthespokenword,butalsorequiremuchworkonimprovingspeechdefects.
7.CrispPronunciation
Whenitcomestoaddressinganaudience,acommunicatormusthaveanimpeccable
pronunciationtohavethedesiredeffect.Veryoften,badpronunciationhasmadelaughingstocksoutofthemostablespeakers.Themethodbywhichthemediumcarriesthemessagetendstoshapetheoverallmeaningaccordingly.Ifyourpronunciationneedsimprovement,don’tbeshyaskingforhelp.Oneshouldcorrecttheirpronunciationinordertomaintaintheireffectivenessasgoodcommunicators
8.EnhanceYourVocabulary
Thoroughknowledgeofthemediuminvolvesequippingyourvocabularywithnewwords.Many-a-timespeoplehaveendedupusinghigh-soundingwordsinappropriatelyonlytofacepublicembarrassment.Buildingafortresswithoutastrongfoundationwillonlyresultineventualfailure.Learningnewwordsisaninvaluableadditiontoyourcommunicationskills.Notonlydoesitincreaseyourverbalprowess,italsohelpsyoucommunicatebetter.Coherentlanguageisanassuredwinnerinregisteringtheintendedmeaningandengagingaudienceseffectively.
9.FollowOtherEfficientCommunicators
Humanbeingsareexcellentemulators(竞争者)Weliveourlivesemulatingothersandlearnnewthingsintheprocess.Whenitcomestopickingupideasforimprovingone’scommunicationskills,thebestapproachistolearnfromothers.Itisonlybyobservingotherscanyouhopetopickupsomehelpfulpointersforyourself.Observingotherspeakerswillhelpinculcatetheirgoodpointsintoyourrepertoire(演奏节目).Seekthecompanyofgoodcommunicatorsandobservethemclosely.Emulatetheirspeakingstylesandmannerisms.Withtime,notonlywillyoubeabletocommunicatelikethem,butyouwillbeabletodevelopyourowndistinctivestyle
10.StudyfromSelf-HelpBooks
Self-helpbooksareexcellentguidestoimprovinganygivenskill.Effectivecommunicatorsenclosetheirtransformingexperiencesinsuchbookstohelplessfortunatepeoplegainbenefitsofbetterspeech.Withahostoftitlestochoosefrom,onecanresorttoemulatingtipsmentionedinthesebookstohelpmaketheircommunicationskillsbetter.Thestep-by-stepinstructionsgiveninthesebookslendanextensiveinsightintotheideaofcommunicationtohelpimprovetheminnotime
?Toconclude,throughcommunication,mutualunderstandingcanbepromotedandfosteredbetweenpeoplewithdifferenceraces,religions,sexandideologies.Onewayistoargue(nottotallymeansquarrels)duringthecommunicationtoclarifythedifferentviews.Lackofcommunicationwillsurelyleadtoperishofmankind.
Humaninteraction,morethanchangingeachother,buttoaccepteachother,ifwanttochangeeachother,itisnotlife,thatiswar.Destinyisnotamatterofchance,itisamatterofchoice,itisnotathingtobewaitedfor,itisathingtobeachieved.Detourstraightpeoplearesmart,becausefindashortcut;thestraightroadbendsareopen-minded,becausetheycanseemorescenery.Theroadisnotfeet,roadintheheart.
Truelove,iscanletapersontoucheternity.Theman,tenyears,twentyyearslater,stillstayinourhearts,letuslookback,surprisedfeeltheheartbeat,ascloseasyesterday,alarmedbythepassageoftime,ifashort.Maybetoday,peoplehavebeenscatteredinthesea,thewindscatteredthecloudsfloatpastalready,unchanged,butsuchahard,stillinourheart.Sunflower"--not"
Twopeopletogether,begintoalwaysbestruckwithfright,worryaboutpersonalgainsandlosses,within-depthunderstanding,mysteryfade,willslowlylosetheirfreshness,passionfadeaway.Atthistime,themostimportantcommunication,maynolongerbeveryworriedabouteachother,butthereisatacitunderstandingisproducedinsufficientcommunicationandtrust,andarun-inverygoodfriends,relaxandpractical,isagoodembodimentoflove.Timeisspentpassion,atthesametime,timewillaccumulatedeep.
Withthedevelopmentofoursociety,theconnectionbetweenpeoplebecomesinevitable.Peopleneedtocommunicatewithothersaslongastheyareintheworld.Asaresult,theinterpersonalrelationshipbecomesmoreandmoreimportant.
Firstofall,agoodinterpersonalrelationpromotepeoplebecomesuccessful.Throughthehumanhistory,wecansummarizethatnoonecandoeverythingwellandbecomesuccessfulalone.Mostofthegreatmenhaveagoodrelationshipamongpeople.Formanypeole,interpersonalrelationshipandtheirabilityareequalimportanttotheirsuccess.Keepingagoodrelationshipwithothers,peolecaneasilygetassistancefromotherswhenfacingdifficulties.Inotherwords,excellentinterpersonalcommunicationskillscanhelpremoveobstaclesonthewaytosuccess.Secondly,agoodinterpersonalrelationcanhelppeopleliveahappylife.Livinginaharmoniousenvironmentneedpeoplekeepagoodrelationshipwiththepeoplearound.Thefriendlypeoplewillformahappyatmosphere.Thatwillmakepeopleworkefficientandkeepagoodmoodinthedailylife.Itiscertainthatpeoplewillreceivehappinessintheend.
Tosumup,asinterpersonalrelationshipissoessentialtopeople’ssuccessandhappiness,Iadvocatepeoplegetalongwellwithwithothers.Thefirstthingissmilemoreeveryday.